i'll be using tumblr to blog more often from now onwards.. =/

http://deranged58.tumblr.com/

came back home from WKWSCIFOC yesterday morning (yes, i left early, cos i had some stuff on in the afternoon and at night, and so missed out on the starry starry night and all the skit and so i'm waiting for people to UPLOAD THEM!! :().. it was really a great experience (one of my friends even commented that the timings of sleep and revelry will be similar to when school reopens and when we stay in hall LOL)

frankly, i went to FOC not expecting that much. yes, i expected fun, laughter, pictures, memories. but freni is simply more than all these: we had fun during the games, but also won most of them; we had laughter, but also ; we not only had pictures (or videos, for that matter), we took so many photos it was really quite shocking; we brought home not only memories, but memories of enjoyment, of letting our hair down, of just having more fun.

freni ftw, and win we did.

but all these wouldn't have been possible without all our seniors too man.. lide and tze were simply great OGLs. besides all the hwa chong and chin-shaking, and all the damn it and hi-larious, you were thoughtful, caring, always looking out for our welfare, always thinking of how to make our FOC time an even better one. kudos to you man. :)

not forgetting our AGLs, walter and shi hui.. your professionalism is amazing.. while one rushes off in front to lead freni ahead into the game, the other would stay behind to make sure no one lags behind.. also amazing are liz and shannon, for always using your cameras to take down evidence of the merry moments we had as freni, so that ten years down the road, we can always look back to freni, to WKWSCIFOC 2009.

still want to write some more, but need to rush off to wash up if i am not to be late for church hah! can't wait for service today, it's going to be an amaing time :D:D:D

received my freshmen's package a few days ago, and spent most of yesterday (when i was home) preparing for university.. there's an excitement that "yes, i'm finally going back to school", a longing that says "finally, one step closer to realizing my dream", yet there's also a trepidation that goes "there's so much i'm not sure about", a fear that goes "oh shucks, what's going to happen next"..

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind

there're so many choices, so many combinations, so many options, so many places where i can choose wrongly, and cause regret.. yet there're so many opportunities, so much experiences, so many chances for me to learn, to grow..

even as deadlines for applications loom and timelines for results are aplenty, there's a part of me knowing that it'll be ok.. naturally, i've done most of what i can, i've made decisions to the best of my human mind, i've tried to do what i can.. but God will take over from here on.. everything is still more or less a mystery to me, still hazy, still unclear.. but God is above all this.. His eyes see beyond the fog before me, His knowledge is far beyond mine.. ultimately, i'm doing this for none other than Him, and i'm pursuing a dream He gave me..

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

first, the kingdom of God. beyond that, God will still be in the picture to make sure all things are alright.

in God i trust..

不爽。

不爽很多事情，但又没做什么去改变。

需要改变，改变做法，改变思想，改变态度。

好久没有写部落格了⋯今天决定用话语写，请别介意⋯（介意的话就别读！）

最近感觉有一点犹豫⋯也不知道为什么，就觉得有一点的惆怅。或许是因为知道自己没有爬到更高峰，而也知道原因是因为自己最近失去了一丝的上进心。没那么常读圣经，没那么常祷告，没那么常等待，聆听神到底要跟我说什么⋯也应该是因为这样所以觉得自己在用自己的力量在跑，而之所以感觉如此的犹豫。

世界上有很多东西可以让我笑：台湾综艺节目，与朋友聚会，做我爱做的事⋯但并不是很多事能让我快乐。

尼 希 米 記 8:10 - 又 对 他 们 说 ： 你 们 去 吃 肥 美 的 ， 喝 甘 甜 的 ， 有 不 能 预 备 的 就 分 给 他 ， 因 为 今 日 是 我 们 主 的 圣 日 。 你 们 不 要 忧 愁 ， 因 靠 耶 和 华 而 得 的 喜 乐 是 你 们 的 力 量 。

因 靠 耶 和 华 而 得 的 喜 乐 是 你 们 的 力 量
喜乐大概也就是快乐吧。真正的喜乐来自与耶和华。也就因为如此，我的快乐来源应该来自神。

因 靠 耶 和 华 而 得 的 喜 乐 是 你 们 的 力 量
力量。因神来的快乐将会转换成力量。而这股力量，不将只足够我去做好的事，不将只足够我去做对的事，而能帮我，在对的时间，对的环境，做对的事。

也就适因为如此，我无时无刻需要圣灵在我左右，帮助我，协助我。也就是因为如此，牧师才会说：微笑是需要采取信念才能做得到的。没有信念，就等于没有把握⋯如果没有把握，又怎么笑得出来？

我需要找回信念⋯把握⋯微笑。不只是在总人面前撑出来的微笑，而是发自内心，从耶和华取来的力量，之所以顺其自然的微笑。

had a great day today! haha..

spent the morning confirming which songs i want to play for SOW auditions.. :P scared of choosing too hard a song, then not being able to pass auditions, but also don't want to choose too easy a song.. but just felt God telling me now that the song i choose is not important, the heart that i play the song with is more important.. haha.. God is amazing man..

went out after lunch to fetch fifi!!! whoa, it's been so long since i've seen her man!! haha.. it was meant to be a d evens thing, but in the end only a few of us turned up, and it was quite funny lol.. just really spent time with the leaders of d evens, and hanging out!

after fifi left, we went to have lunch, then made our way down to cathay to meet more people and catch a movie - Taken.. i realised 10-15 minutes into the show that.. hey.. this looks familiar.. and in the end, REVELATION: i saw this in camp before.. >.< and it was like quite some time ago, since i orded in january, so it must be like at least 4-5 months ago.. - -; singapore cinemas are slow man.. no wonder piracy.. =X

after that went to have selegie chicken rice and the tauhuay.. whoa, now having craving for it man.. lol.. it's like drugs, once you have it, you want to continue having it.. but once you separate yourself from it for some time, the craving's gone lol..

stopped by at church before coming home to put my guitar there.. then had a great h&c with shuyi! the army people need to come out early man.. =/ and shirlene!! lol..

tomorrow's going to be awesome: NTU med checkup in the morning, buying a guitar pick at city hall, then CG and YA meeting! busy busy day yo! :D

tired. >.<

just did something in faith, it has stumbled me before, and if i'm not careful, it will stumble me again.. but i cannot doubt the voice of God, and thus acted in faith. believe that God will come through :)

i think sometimes people tend to think too much.. i know i do, especially when it's at night, and there's nothing to distract your mind from thinking.. "what if".. "maybe".. "if i had done that".. the list goes on and on, and many times we just allow our minds to think, and let it go unharnessed.. not exactly a bad thing, but not necessarily good also..

i want to learn to guard my mind more.. it's too easy to be caught offguard, too easy to just "go".. :@ i should be the master of my mind.. :)